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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817671">nearly didn't notice the gentlest feeling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetheartbitterheart/pseuds/sweetheartbitterheart'>sweetheartbitterheart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 Times, Aged-Up Number Five | The Boy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Not really if you understand Fiveya, Pseudo-Incest, not s2 compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:33:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetheartbitterheart/pseuds/sweetheartbitterheart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times the Hargreeves picked up on some vibes between Five and Vanya and one time those two decided to do something about it</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Number Five | The Boy &amp; The Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy), Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves &amp; The Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>624</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nearly didn't notice the gentlest feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>basically this takes place in an alternate s2 with an aged up/30 year old five and where the hargreeves all landed in dallas together. vanya's amnesia isn't all bad either, she's mostly just fuzzy on details. i still had to throw in a mention of vanya and five's little power stand off because it was so full of tension (if only vanya didn't have amnesia in the actual scene 😩)</p><p>omg diego and klaus are so hard to write! so i apologize if their sections aren't as good</p><p>title from Bluest Light by Bloc Party</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>1</b>
</p><p>To be honest, Luther's never put too much thought into his siblings dynamics with each other, outside of his own with them. He's always known Klaus to get into trouble, dragging along himself or Ben or Diego. Luther even remembers Allison and Five getting dragged into some mischief Klaus cooked up a few times too. He knew Allison and Diego enjoyed being competitive with one another. He knew Ben and Vanya spent time together in the library sometimes. He'd been vaguely aware of Five using Vanya as a sounding board for when he'd been especially peeved. </p><p>But he's never paid attention to the way they interact.</p><p>He does now though.</p><p>It brings a long overdue warmth to his chest to see Klaus and Diego teasing each other. Klaus poking Diego's side and laughing at Diego's only slightly grumpy face.</p><p>He smiles seeing Allison smile at Vanya, her arm wrapped around their small sister, holding her hand. Vanya is beaming back at her, radiating happiness.</p><p>It's a comfort knowing that Ben is with Klaus, but still Luther wishes he could see him too. </p><p>His eyes finally wander to Five, who is standing a bit off to the side, as he is so prone to do now. Luther is still getting used to seeing his long lost brother looking, well, so grown up. Their trip back in time had somehow altered Five's physical appearance. He looked about the same age as the rest of them. Five seemed to be happy about this, although his eyes still carried something older and tortured about them.</p><p>Five holds a cup of coffee in his hand as he surveys the room, his gaze eventually landing on Vanya. His posture relaxes a little and his face softens, just the barest amount.</p><p>Luther blinks a couple times. It takes all his willpower not to turn his face back and forth between Five and Vanya. It almost looks like a slight smile is forming on Five's mouth, which is throwing Luther for a huge loop.</p><p>Vanya doesn't even appear to notice Five staring directly at her.</p><p>Luther crams a few crackers in his mouth to keep quiet as he watches this exchange. After a few moments, Five drops his gaze down to his coffee, a deep frown encompassing his face before a familiar scowl takes its place.</p><p><i>Oh</i>, Luther realizes, noting the twitch in Five's jaw as he watches Vanya speaking with Allison, <i>You too, brother</i>.</p><p>
  <b>2</b>
</p><p>When they were really young, before they even really learned of their powers, Diego remembers being close with Vanya. He remembers being about three years old, grasping his hand in hers while they drew with crayons in the playroom. He remembers her soft presence beside him. He remembers Ben tugging her in the direction of the building blocks and following along just so he wouldn’t be left to play by himself. She was the smallest of them even then.</p><p>He can't really remember when that changed. All their own powers growing in strength and Vanya seemingly having none, the ordinary one left out.</p><p>But Diego does remember when Five began paying more attention to Vanya.</p><p>Five has always been a smug know-it-all. Always believed himself to be better and smarter than the rest of them. They must've been around nine or ten when Diego noticed Vanya shadowing Five during their free time and to his amazement Five didn't snap at her.</p><p>Soon it wouldn't be strange to find Five working on equations in his room, writing on his walls, speaking fast while Vanya sat at his desk patiently listening and providing comments when she could get a word in. There were also plenty of times when Vanya would be practicing her violin in her own tiny bedroom with Five sitting on her bed reading.</p><p>Diego quickly learned Five especially enjoyed talking shit about them to Vanya. He caught them one afternoon between classes and training. Five casually ranting while Vanya nodded along, fiddling with her music sheets.</p><p>So Diego isn't surprised to catch Five grumbling about them once more to his favorite sounding board.</p><p>"If I wanted to lose a few IQ points I'd consider asking them," he barks out, but it's clear his annoyance isn't directed at Vanya, who takes his outburst in stride.</p><p>She looks to the ceiling for a moment and sighs, "Five, that's a little counterproductive."</p><p>"Counterproductive?"</p><p>Diego steps into the room, "Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, bro."</p><p>Five turns to him and sneers. It's a bit more menacing than when his body looked 13.</p><p>"Don't you have a little light stalking to do?" Five asks him rhetorically.</p><p>Diego sees Vanya roll her eyes and feels himself smile a little.</p><p>"Didn't you stakeout a prosthetic manufacturing building just to get a lead on Leonard's eye?" she points out, smirking.</p><p>Vanya is… a bit different now. Diego still doesn't know exactly how to feel around her, as her memories play catch up with her, as they all take turns helping her with her powers. But Diego appreciates her having his back about Five, as well as giving Five shit.</p><p>Diego laughs, "She's got you there, killer."</p><p>Five practically growls. The tension in the air beginning to crackle. Diego thinks briefly that Five's about to either teleport away or punch him, but he simply turns back to Vanya. It seems his strategy is to ignore Diego and hyper focus on Vanya.</p><p>Diego tries to get some words in edgewise but Five explicitly ignores him, keeping his gaze on Vanya, who is steadily growing exasperated.</p><p>It almost looks like they're flirting.</p><p>There's no wind rising or vibrating objects in the room so Diego considers things not too dire. He feels oddly proud of Vanya's control, because Five is a little shit who could have the most understanding person losing their patience.</p><p>Five says something about Luther's lack of tact which causes Vanya to smirk but hurry to hide it behind her hand. Five's eyes brighten at seeing Vanya crack a little. Her small display of delight in cutting down the rest of them seems to only liven Five up.</p><p><i>Yeah, they're flirting</i>, Diego surmises and steps back to watch with bemusement.</p><p>
  <b>3</b>
</p><p>Allison will never tire of being able to hug her sister. As she clutches Vanya in her arms, she feels her sister laugh against her shoulder. Relief washes over her. She won't let her down again. She'll be considerate and supportive. They can do this. They can be close.</p><p>She knows Vanya's memories are still fuddled, broken up into pieces that they've all been trying to remedy.</p><p>Allison feels such shame when Vanya's mind catches up to the moment their newfound sisterhood broke. Her anguished cry cuts into Allison's heart and she reaches out to cradle her sister in his arms. At first, Vanya pulls away, shuffling backwards into Klaus, who rubs gentle hands up and down her arms. Vanya gathers herself after a moment and tentatively moves towards Allison, repeating apologizes.</p><p>They come together, grasping onto to each other tightly.</p><p>"How can you even bear to look at me?" Vanya asks.</p><p>Allison squeezes her even tighter, "I forgive you. You couldn't control it. Dad never gave you the chance." Vanya starts shaking her head with every word Allison says. "You forgive me, don't you?" she implores Vanya.</p><p>Vanya takes a deep breath, "Yes."</p><p>"Then we'll be better. We'll work on things together."</p><p>They do. Vanya and Allison talk and cry and laugh. They find the right balance as <i>sisters</i>.</p><p>Allison delights in getting well and truly drunk with Vanya. They're sitting on the floor, records splayed out between them. Vanya is flushed pink, covering her face with her hands after Allison's told her another dirty joke she heard from Klaus. </p><p>When they fall into a comfortable silence, Etta James playing softly in the background, Allison catches a wistful look in Vanya's eyes.</p><p>"Do you ever…?" Vanya starts then swallows, "Have you ever…? How come it's different with some of them?"</p><p>Allison blinks, "Them? Who?"</p><p>"The boys!" Vanya clarifies.</p><p>"What's different?" Allison laughs a little, curious about what Vanya means.</p><p>"The feelings. How I feel about some of them. It's different. He's so frustrating but I still want his attention."</p><p>Allison assesses her sister, delicately choosing her next words, "Some of them? Or one of them?"</p><p>"Not One. <i>Five</i>," Vanya says so seriously for someone so tipsy.</p><p>A laugh leaves Allison's throat before she can help it.</p><p>Vanya barely seems to have noticed Allison's outburst as she's taking another swing of her drink. "He's always looking at me but I don't hate it. It makes me feel all… tingly and shiny," she rambles on, "My heart gets all fast. I wish I…" Vanya trails off, her brow furrowed.</p><p>The haze of alcohol clears from Allison's mind because she knows just what Vanya means. She knows the exact feelings Vanya's experiencing, albeit with a different so-called brother.</p><p>Allison is about to open her mouth when Klaus stumbles into the room wearing her bathrobe and carrying takeout bags. Vanya squeaks at the sudden intrusion, her powers flaring to life causing all the lights in the house to flicker.</p><p>"Vanya, there's no need for the light show," Klaus admonishes, "Even if I did so graciously buy you girls dinner."</p><p>Five blinks into the room, thunderous rage evaporating their lighthearted mood.</p><p>"What are you doing?" he demands, glancing briefly at Vanya before returning to glare at Allison and Klaus.</p><p>Allison explains quickly, throwing an arm around Vanya's shoulder, keeping her close and calm.</p><p>Five's glare retreats somewhat but he still frowns at all three of them.</p><p>Of course, later that night, Five blinks into Allison's bedroom.</p><p>"She's fragile," he says curtly.</p><p>Allison tilts her head, "We're all fragile."</p><p>She receives the infamous Five scowl in return. She looks at her brother, really looks at him. He's no longer awkward and pubescent as she'd always remembered him, and as he appeared when he first returned to them. He may look their age now but he really was thirty going on fifty-nine.</p><p>"I know you love getting to have all this feelgood sister bonding time but there are more important things we have to deal with," Five says.</p><p>Allison guffaws, "If I remember correctly, you're the one who brought us back in time so that we could fix Vanya. I only want to give my sister some comfort and normalcy so she remembers she's a person and not a science experiment gone wrong."</p><p>"Fix. Train. Not get drunk."</p><p>"Oh, that's rich coming from you."</p><p>They're at a standstill, glaring at each other.</p><p>Allison wonders if between both their determination and mutual love for Vanya that it could've helped her in 2019, if it could've swayed or changed anything. Looking at Five now, Allison knows he's already wondered that himself.</p><p>Before Five has the chance to blink away, she says, "Be kind to her."</p><p>His jaw twitches and he looks so incredibly sad for a moment that Allison steps forward, desperate to comfort her brother, but Five blinks out of the room before she can reach him.</p><p>
  <b>4</b>
</p><p>Klaus will happily admit he is the most affectionate of all his siblings. There's something so inherently soothing about touching others, some assurance that the people surrounding him are tangible beings and not phantoms coming to scream at him.</p><p>He can't help it. He wants to hug his siblings a lot of the time, now that the band's back together. Allison is the most accepting of it, begrudgingly followed by Diego and strangely Vanya. Klaus had forgotten just how tiny she is when he first gets his arms around his sister. Her bony hands squeezing his bony ribs, leaving Klaus to ponder about getting them some burgers or maybe Chinese. Vanya would like that. She needs a hearty meal.</p><p>When Klaus goes in to hug Five, delighted in seeing his disappeared brother all grown up and quite handsome if Klaus says so himself, Five grabs his wrist and nearly bends it in half.</p><p>In Klaus' humble opinion, Five could do with lots of hugs, some cuddles too.</p><p>So he refrains (<i>mostly</i>) from getting touchy with Five, despite the urge to antagonize him. It's just too much fun to rile him up.</p><p>Only Vanya's touch is welcomed by that rude time-traveling maniac. A gentle hand resting on his arm, her small fingers squeezing his knuckles, running a hand through his hair ruffling it.</p><p>Klaus shares several bewildered looks with Luther and Diego, just to confirm that they're seeing what he's seeing. He catches Allison smirking at their siblings' blatant affectionate display and can't stop the laugh from bubbling out of him.</p><p>Five cuts a glance to him, annoyance set in his now very adult features.</p><p>Klaus waggles his eyebrows in reference to Vanya's hand laying atop Five's own.</p><p>In a quick motion, Five tugs his hand away from Vanya, even turns his body away from her entirely. Poor girl looks so confused. A wave of guilt begins to settle in Klaus' stomach, only worsened by Allison's reproachful look.</p><p>"Don't treat me like a kid," grumbles Five to Vanya.</p><p>Vanya, who appears to look a little upset herself, simply says, "I'm not. I'm treating you like my brother."</p><p>At those words, Five opens and closes his mouth a couple times before clamping it shut without one biting remark. Hmmm, had Vanya always been able to render Five speechless? It appears their small sister already had a superpower long before she discovered new ones in 2019.</p><p>"Klaus, you idiot," Ben comments over his shoulder, infuriatingly disapproving as per usual.</p><p>He shushes his ghostly brother.</p><p>Their family meeting dissipates shortly after that little outburst.</p><p>A couple nights later, the guilt returns to Klaus' stomach upon catching Five gently brushing some hair away from Vanya's face as she sleeps on the sofa. The look on Five's face is tender. </p><p>Klaus feels happy for them, truly, the two of them have known loneliness all too well, but the feeling is followed immediately by an overwhelming ache in his chest.</p><p>
  <b><strike>6</strike> 5</b>
</p><p>Out of all his siblings, Ben is probably the only one who has been aware of Five and Vanya's longstanding feelings for each other. They were never as obvious as Luther and Allison, so it's understandable that the others never noticed. They never noticed Vanya at all.</p><p>But Five always did.</p><p>Ben occasionally did too, but never in the same way as Five.</p><p>He was gentle and considerate with her always.</p><p>Ben remembers a distinct moment around the time when their father ordered Grace to teach them ballroom dancing and Vanya's face turning bright red when Five chose her as his partner. But Ben also remembers Vanya letting out a real, true laugh at something Five said at the end of their lesson. He mostly remembers because Ben could count on one hand the number of times he heard Vanya actually laugh.</p><p>As an invisible bystander to his siblings antics, Ben has been more than privy to some intimate conversations between them all. He's still struck by immense sadness at the way Five and Vanya clumsily orbit each other. He's warmed that Five still treats Vanya gently, with understanding, even at his most volatile.</p><p>Ben can't stop a smile from forming as Vanya picks up discarded cups of coffee and scraps of paper in Five's room as the madman himself works through another equation on the walls. Five's been awake for three days now. He's mumbling to himself, barely noticing Vanya's presence, her face lined with worry.</p><p>She touches his shoulder. Five startles, spinning around ready to strike.</p><p>Vanya is unfazed, "Hey."</p><p>Five's posture relaxes the tiniest bit. "Why don't you take a break?" she tries, "Rest your eyes for a bit."</p><p>"Vanya, I can't. I'm close-"</p><p>"And you'll still be close when you wake up. A little sleep isn't gonna unravel anything in that big brain of yours. If anything, it might bring you more insight."</p><p>"She's right," Ben agrees, uncaring that they can't hear him anyway. He just wants his brother to take care of himself. He's always failing with Klaus. Vanya appears more successful with Five.</p><p>Her voice is soft and sincere, "Just for an hour or two."</p><p>Five reluctantly nods, "One hour."</p><p>"One hour."</p><p>"I'm setting an alarm."</p><p>Ben smirks watching Five throw himself down on the bed, still dressed in his clothes like a petulant child. He's laying over the covers but Vanya tosses a throw blanket over him anyway. She practically beams at Five's eyeroll. She continues picking up the mess that is Five's room as he begrudgingly begins to doze off.</p><p>Ben wants to hold his hands up like he's framing a picture of the two of them. He wants to be able to wrap them in a blanket and stand back to admire them, knowing they're safe together always. He wants more than anything for the two of them to get their acts together before time slips away from them once more.</p><p>
  <b>+1</b>
</p><p>There are things Vanya knows they don't talk about, her fractured family, even when her memories were still coming back to her. She became keenly aware one of them was the way Five acts toward her. He's a bit of curmudgeon, even when they were kids. He's smug and rude, almost always exasperated, but he's also incredibly patient with her. Vanya can admit to herself in quiet moments how much she enjoys the soft look Five always gives her.</p><p>Vanya wonders why it must stay an unspoken agreement. She wonders if Five feels guilt like she feels guilt. She wonders if it's his time spent isolated in an apocalypse, or his time as an assassin for why they don't talk about it.</p><p>She's feeling a little awkward about almost using her powers against Five, despite him being a complete dick earlier. Allison and Klaus had reassured her it's no big deal. All of them had used their powers against each other at various times. Luther pointing out that Diego had thrown a knife at him just this morning.</p><p>But none of them had ever caused the end of the world with their powers.</p><p>Five and Vanya are the only ones who stay behind when Klaus declares he wants tacos. Vanya approaches him gingerly in the kitchen where he's put another pot of coffee on.</p><p>"You're not mad at me?" she asks Five with a quirk to her lips, "You know, for threatening you back there?"</p><p>He rolls his eyes, "Believe it or not, Vanya, you're not the first person to threaten me. Not even in this family. Not even today."</p><p>She chuckles, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.</p><p>He smiles, "As Luther's said many times, I know I'm a bit of-"</p><p>"An asshole," she finishes, smirking.</p><p>He grimaces. She enjoys him almost shifting under her gaze, so unlike his usual self-assured self.</p><p>"So you still love me?" she tries to play it off as teasing but there's a hint of insecurity in her voice, some shyness in her smile.</p><p>Five can't allow that. "Of course I do."</p><p>She nods and her shy smile becomes wider. They continue to look at each other and Five can tell Vanya wants to say more. Her eyes are carefully roaming his face, slowly becoming glassy.</p><p>She swallows, takes a deep breath, "Can we talk about it?"</p><p>Five's heart slams against his chest like he just drank three cups of espresso. Time stands still for a moment.</p><p>He nods slowly, "Yes."</p><p>With that simple word, Vanya goes to him, reaching up to cup his face in her hands. Five bends into her, welcoming her touch like a benediction. She drags her thumb across his lips. He places his hands on her hips and pulls her closer.</p><p>"Was it always like this?" she asks in a quiet voice.</p><p>Five's hold on her tightens, "Yes, for me."</p><p>They rest their foreheads together, breathing in the same air. Five has always been the bolder one between them, brash and decisive, but he waits now. He'd stay still in this moment with Vanya forever, if it was what she wanted, if it was all she was able to give him.</p><p>Five feels all his nerve endings come alive when Vanya presses her lips against his. He wants to be still for her, calm and patient, but the little sigh she makes along his mouth goes right through him. He licks over the seam of her lips and she parts them eagerly, groaning at the hot slide of his tongue.</p><p>"I've loved you my whole life," he manages to get out between kisses. It's the truth. Five has known and loved Vanya so long he can't remember when it exactly began. She imprinted on him when they were infants. He knows her like the back of his hand. He'd know her in the dark with his hands tied behind his back. </p><p>Vanya blushes so prettily, "Me too. I've loved you so long, Five."</p><p>There are tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over. So he kisses at her cheeks, at her forehead, at her neck and she nuzzles into him, warm and content.</p><p>They're too lost in each other, so happy to finally touch and taste after so many years, that they completely miss the rest of their family returning.</p><p>That is, until Klaus happily exclaims, "Oh, finally!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let me know what you think?? i was a little nervous about posting this, i worried that no one was in character</p></blockquote></div></div>
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